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Without that arousal it derives from its effeminacy and the girlie sensations of its pretty girlie clothes, it feels ashamed and filled with self-loathing. For, at the most, a few short hours it is able to delude itself, again, that it is a regular boy. But it’s not. The urge to dress up in stockings, pretty lingerie, high heels, skirts and to paint its face and nails will be back soon enough - as will that urge to masturbate. An experienced sissy owner knows this repetitive cycle and understand that need to stop its compulsive masturbation. Locking its male genitalia into perpetual impotence renders it a form of eunuch. But unlike a eunuch, it still retains its gonads. It will still feel those urges, but be unable to satisfy them and purge itself. That fosters a mindset of total frustration, weakness and helplessness, where it becomes a pathetic, whimpering and totally malleable mess, for its owner.It is ready to do anything and be used in any way. It’s owner no longer need to go. Getting out of car in front of Diana house and making my way to the door. I thought to myself as I walked towards the door of Diana house “Let everything go according to planPlz Lord.” I took deep breath and let it out as reach up knocked on Diana front door. Moment later Diana opened the front door and when inside. I shock to find out I was the first one to arrive So Diana show me to basement so I could change into my swimsuit.after doing that I stayed down there until Jackie arrived so her grandma won’t see me. Oh that one thing I left out during our planning stage her grandma wouldn’t know I was there. I can’t remember why that was but we had basically sneak behind grandma back to see each other. I think it because we couldn’t ever get do anything when her grandma was around or some shit. But any who my face lite up when i saw Jackie come bounce down the stairs. She ran up give giant hug we kissed a little. She didn’t seem want let me go. Well had been little bit since we had saw.
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